I haven’t written a blog in almost six weeks. Sure there has been a lot going on; I’m separated from my husband now and I’m struggling to make sense of a decision I thought would be best for me and everybody involved. But it’s hard to be creative and write when you feel your head and heart are on life support. It’s hard to breathe life into your dreams when you’ve forgotten what those dreams are.
It seems like I’m learning to live all over again. Everything feels new and foreign to me as I make decisions like I’ve got a phantom limb. I’ve been so busy trying to keep up with the piles of laundry and the homework that’s over due, I haven’t slowed down enough to write a single word. I told myself I would at least write in my journal. I thought it would be a good idea to remember what I’ve been going through a year or two from now. But there is barely time to wash the dishes in the sink.
And now that things are starting to get back to normal, I find myself itching to write. I am overwhelmed and exhilarated at the same time, and I don’t want to miss a single second of what this feels like. I am only somewhat surprised to see that my words come easily and smooth. I am clicking letters on a keyboard like I have still been making my thousand word a day quota.
So I’m back to living, feeling again and most importantly writing. It is one of the few things that I didn’t leave behind in the move.